This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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