i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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