got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
