Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
honey bunches of taint.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
