If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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