Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
