We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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