Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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