Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
