Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
