hotel room ftw
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
