This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize