he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
