Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
