I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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