He is such a slut. More and more my type.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
