no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
