I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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