OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
