I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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