My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im holly from the hills drunk
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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