Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
