come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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