By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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