Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
