Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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