Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
