Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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