So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
