people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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