Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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