what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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