I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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