i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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