I'm jealous of your bromance
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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