K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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