dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I look better un-naked...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You don't make any sense
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