my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
