I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
