In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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