Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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