LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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