Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
