dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
