I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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