Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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