Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
