a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
