I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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