She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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