I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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