What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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