was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
