You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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