Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
