nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
