So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize