Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
